March

Dylan Kemp

31 March at 13:35

TLDR, your funny bone wasn't designed to send pain messages, so it just sends weird data if you bang it.

31 March at 13:34

I still spell my name out the way my mum did: "K, E, M for Mother, P for Peter."

31 March at 13:27

The pain is real.

31 March at 13:24

Just another unattainable body standard.

28 March at 00:32

50 metal bands per 100 000 people?

28 March at 00:27

Study finds that when women are in the room, smarter decisions are made.

28 March at 00:26

Good idea. Lets take the word "businessman" out of the word "politician."

28 March at 00:23

My nutritionist said to me recently "We're not aiming for perfection, but consistency."

28 March at 00:16

What? Now you're just fucking with me.

28 March at 00:14

Content warning: history lesson, may contain tears.

28 March at 00:11

Cocky. Did a one sentence essay on ""Fight Club"".

28 March at 00:10

Just kinda enjoy the anger in this post.

28 March at 00:08

Sezby turned 50.

28 March at 00:07

I feel very lucky to be born on the same planet as, for example, a leopard.

28 March at 00:07

In Moana 2 they rhyme moana with come on-a.

28 March at 00:06

"I can't see where the story leads, but we never stop choosing who we are." Moana

27 March at 00:18

What?

27 March at 00:12

Oh, so they ARE colourful. I'm just not looking at them right.

27 March at 00:11

Now, what is this?

26 March at 01:22

Clothes don't have a gender.

23 March at 04:30

Bro.

23 March at 04:27

I wouldn't even be able to light the fire.

22 March at 00:27

The Bechdel Test is how many minutes of a movie have women but no men on screen, and those women aren't talking about a man. Happens surprisingly rarely.

22 March at 00:24

Please pick a number. Which one is you?

22 March at 00:23

Want.

22 March at 00:16

Actual quote from my day: "I told her to shit in her hands and clap."

20 March at 23:36

Cheers Nandor.

20 March at 00:15

I mean, sure. But as a guy who has stacked pallets for a living, just make it 16 and stop being a dick about it.

18 March at 00:55

Today i drummed 28 beats.

17 March at 00:27

This is a picture of a seesaw I sit on.

17 March at 00:22

The most genuinely hopeful post I have seen for a while.

17 March at 00:21

Now, where was I? Oh, i figured out linking progress to social media doesn’t work because i dont always feel like it, so i made a handy chart in a book, and added colour as an executive function tip. Anyway, for many days i forgot i made this, which would have made some of these numbers higher, but not all. I think my longest walk this year was about 15km. And i've read a lot this year. But man, i really dont like typing poems. And i don't dance unless i do it on purpose. Ideally it's more about doing things regularly, of course, this is just for fun. I've dropped some things off the list, and I welcome suggestions for new categories.

For those of you playing at home, i'm up to:

26 beats
19 pressups against the wall
10 yoga stretches
9 papers filed
9 pages read
7 friends talked with
7 km walked
6 minutes danced
2 poems typed

Today i drummed 27 beats, and filed 10 papers, did 11 yoga stretches (building up to an hour a week), did 20 pressups and danced for 7 minutes. Read ten pages. Also did some gardening and worked on some zines. That'll do. Pottering i call it.

15 March at 00:04

Kaikoura

15 March at 00:03

Sewing class.

15 March at 00:01

I cannot begin to express…

14 March at 10:11

Hello fellow human. Hope you are having an artificially intelligent day.

14 March at 10:10

Spotify was better without video. Instagram was better without video.

14 March at 10:09

Oh! I went to Kaikoura. Did I tell you? First time I’ve hitchhiked in over 20 years. Rented a room and had a beautiful couple days. Walked the peninsula coastline, which was gorgeous, full of colours and texture. And baby seals! Almost no photos cause i made a point of putting my phone down.

14 March at 10:08

I don't know how much better I would have coped with my entire adult life if I had eaten better food.

14 March at 10:08

People should say "You beauty!" more, like they did in the olden days. . (To mean "Go you!" or "Hooray!" I mean, i wasnt talking about describing looks.) . [context: being 50, in New Zealand, and seeing a lot of phrases my Dad used not being used by my kids] . TLDR: You beauty!

14 March at 10:06

My courgettes are done. Another beauty of a season.

14 March at 10:05

Why my courgettes so spiky this year?

13 March at 08:08

Can't remember where i got this from, but whatever they're selling, Im buying.

13 March at 08:07

Posted by an American friend of mine. Never confuse a people with their leader. Luxon certainly doesnt represent me.

9 March at 01:16

It's a harp.

7 March at 10:27

You whatnow?

6 March at 13:16

Love this guy. Bespoke compliments.

6 March at 13:09

Shit talk. And its good shit.

6 March at 12:18

Giggles

5 March at 23:48

Yeah my reels finally started filling up with jugglers. So i'm encouraging such behaviour. I used to spend a lot of time with circus people

5 March at 23:29

Beautiful fluidity to this. Unusual style.

5 March at 23:27

Quick thought. 30 seconds.

5 March at 23:22

12? Or 10? Anyway a bit o magic.

5 March at 23:14

Kiwi!

5 March at 23:09

Ten seconds.

5 March at 22:38

Ten seconds.

4 March at 22:22

Giggle. For anyone who has worked hospo. 30 seconds.

4 March at 21:53

Finally! A brush that will cover my back in hair!

4 March at 11:08

Yup. Good rant.

01/03/25

White rabbits!

Dylan Kemp is a Christchurch based poet and painter.

Edited by Simon Gibson